Gotta Vent

Post Polio sucks.

We went to a party last night. I'd been tired all day (it takes me all day Saturday to recover from the work week, even though I don't have a full calendar at work) but no worse than usual.

We get to the guy's house, and it's this little 1920s brick bungalow at the top of a steep driveway. There's maybe half-a-dozen steps up a steep walk to the front door. By the time I got halfway up I thought my legs were gonna quit working. I wasn't even sure I could do the last step without resting. Embarrassing. I feel like a fat old woman, although I am neither.

We have a wedding to go to tonight, which I hope will be more accessible.

My "vacation" this summer wore me out. Ever since I got back, I've been wishing I had a week off just to sleep.

Simply,

Disability Studies, Temple U.: Flickr, Australian sopranos, and disability history

For polio trivia lovers: Here's another "polio" who made good.

Disability Studies, Temple U.: Flickr, Australian sopranos, and disability history

Silly Season

Saw on Twitter where some (White, male) fool bragged he'd kept his kid home from school to watch a movie Tuesday rather than let the kid listen to the President's speech.

And he thinks that's good parenting?

The speech was 20 minutes. The kid missed a whole day of school for that. The speech was inspirational. The kid watched a movie instead.

What's with these people anyway?

Simply,

No, it's not

Sign in front of church: "This is a Christian nation."

No, it's not. Go back to 8th grade civics class. Re-read the Constitution. Check out a U.S. history book from the library.

This is a nation founded on freedom of religion.

Freedom. of. religion.

Simply,

I woke up depressed this morning. The three-day weekend is over with, and I don't feel like I had any kind of holiday at all. (This, despite having the entire day off Saturday and going out and indulging two of my hobbies at once yesterday. Go figure.) I feel out of control of nearly everything at work, and we are completely overwhelmed financially. I feel about as powerless over the money problems as I would standing on a beach facing a tidal wave. Nigel made the comment this weekend that we're "this close to losing everything we have". Not encouraging, that.

I've been sinking down into the dumps for the last few weeks: I don't feel good any more, haven't all summer. My disability, which I have more or less successfully outrun, if you'll pardon the expression, for the last 50 years, is catching up to me. Two separate health issues, that I can't see for shit any more and that my sex life is shot to hell (for three different reasons that aren't fixable) aren't helping.

This is the weekend that my old dog Daisy died last year, and I've been thinking about her a lot. I dreamed about her Saturday night, which didn't help either. And we're coming up on two years since my best friend died (her birthday was last week), and I've been thinking about her a lot. Some hobby things I've tried to do lately to lighten the mood I've been frustrated at, and wound up making myself feel worse.

So I got to thinking. There were surely things that could make me feel better. What might they be? I started cleaning: There's no reason, broke or not, that we can't have a tidy, neat, clean, snug little home to relax in and retreat to.

I filled the hummingbird feeders. (All the feeders, and the birdbaths too, have been neglected since my Nigel went away for his cancer treatment--over a year ago.) Within minutes, hummingbirds were coming to the window to feed. And surprise, surprise--I felt better.

Simply,

I read that people with my disability should take two rest periods a day, 15-20 minutes each, doing nothing.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to do nothing for 15 minutes?

This last rest period, I found myself wanting to get up from my chair, go over to my computer, and blog it.

Simply,